


Idiot Couple

by arcturuse



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: M/M, You Have Been Warned, also i kinda forgot to include momoi hhh, just two idiots being idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-24 03:59:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14947178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arcturuse/pseuds/arcturuse
Summary: "So we really have been dating all this time?" "For what, like 4, 5 years?" Midorima shut his eyes in exasperation, feeling a migraine coming. "How could anyone be dating but not know that themselves?"Or, the story of how the members of Kiseki no Sedai find out Aomine and Kise are dating, in chronological order.





	Idiot Couple

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this a few years back but never really posted it anywhere aside from my tumblr... so i recently decided to edit it and bring it back lol it's cross-posted it on FFN. warning: so much idiocy from Aomine and Kise (but i guess if you're down in this ship you would expect this amount of idiocy--) also stupid 2015 me forgot to include momoi but i'll include her into Kisedai for sure next time (if i will ever write again)
> 
> also i'm terrible at writing and this little idea came out with a lot of dialogue so i think the ratio is kinda off... please bear with me ;;;

Akashi knew everything there was he needed to know; whether it was something as simple as the date today or the home addresses of his teammates, he could recite them all right off the top of his head. So naturally, in his third year of middle school, Akashi was aware that Aomine and Kise were dating. Their relationship wasn’t obvious per say. Akashi was sure that he was the only one who knew this after all.

 

(And by that, he meant Aomine and Kise were included in the list of people who didn’t know).

 

But from the way they would look at each other, Akashi knew that they would realize their feelings for each other sooner or later.

 

“No, it’s definitely later than sooner,” Akashi muttered to no one in particular, staring at the shogi board laid out in front of him. “Those two truly are idiots.”

 

* * *

 

 

Everyone knew that Kuroko was invisible almost all of the time. Even to his friends, the people who hung out more with him than anyone else, Kuroko could speak out of the blue and still scare the heck out of them. So it was no surprise to Kuroko that when he was walking behind Aomine and Kise who were heading home after basketball practice, the two in front didn’t notice him at all.

 

(He didn’t bother speaking up either because he didn’t need Kise to be noisier than he already was. Having a gigantic puppy clinging unnecessarily to you was not how the phantom sixth player wanted to go home.)

 

“Aominecchi, it’s freezing out here!”

 

“Shut up! At least your hands are warm…” Aomine glared at the bright yellow gloves donning Kise’s hands—how the model even pulled off that hideous shade was beyond Aomine. “How can anyone forget to take their scarf but still bring their gloves?”

 

“If you’re a basketball player, shouldn’t you take care of your hands first?”

 

“If you’re a model, shouldn’t you take care of your body?”

 

Kuroko watched passively as the two bicker back and forth. He sighed. Maybe he should have taken the long way home.

 

“You know Aominecchi, when couples feel cold like this, they hold hands to keep warm!”

 

“Isn’t that kind of stupid? Wouldn’t that only warm one of their hands?”

 

“Eh, that makes sense… so why do they still do it?”

 

“How the hell am I supposed to know?”

 

Kise was quiet for a moment before he brightened up as if he had the epiphany of his life. “Let’s try it out, Aominecchi!”

 

The other blinked in confusion. “What!? No way!”

 

“Oh come on! It’s just this one time!”

 

Cue Kise’s ever-famous puppy eyes. Aomine stared at the other incredulously, having an internal battle in his head, while Kuroko resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He knew how this would go down—no one was immune to those eyes. Even if the suggestion to attempt holding hands _like a fricking couple_ was ridiculous.

 

“Ugh, fine.”

 

Dark hands found Kise’s gloved ones. Aomine relished in the warmth temporarily.

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“…you know, I was right after all.”

 

“What?”

 

“My other hand is freezing.”

 

“But mine feels just fine!”

 

“That’s ‘cause you have gloves on!”

 

By then, Kuroko felt like chopped liver. Being the third-wheel sucked after all, especially when the couple was a pair of idiots.

 

The next time Kuroko incidentally walked behind Aomine and Kise on a cold night again, the two held hands without questions—as if it was a natural thing to do—all the way until Kuroko had to part ways.

 

* * *

 

 

Contrary to popular belief, Murasakibara was not stupid. Sure, he was a very lazy teenager and spent more than half of his life eating snacks (and that despite the combination, he still grew vertically not horizontally, much to a lot of people’s chagrin) but the purple-haired teen could be perceptive when he wanted to.

 

That was why when Kise approached Aomine during lunch break with a bento box in hand, Murasakibara was mildly intrigued. Kise never brought lunch boxes after all—much less hand one to Aomine.

 

(And besides, since when would Murasakibara _not_ be interested when food was somehow involved?)

 

“What’s this, Kise?” Aomine eyed the box suspiciously.

 

“A bento, of course! Are you really that stupid, Ahominecchi?”

 

“Of course I know that, Bakakise! I mean what are you doing giving this to me?”

 

“I wanted you to try it!”

 

Before Aomine could say anything in reply, Kise had already opened the box and practically shoved a pair of chopsticks into the other’s hand.

 

“Damn it, whatever. Free lunch sounds fine by me.”

 

After a minute of watching the other eat casually, Kise couldn’t take it anymore.

 

“So? So? How does it taste?”

 

“What does that matter? It’s edible—“

 

“But I wanna know what you think of it!”

 

“Why the hell do you need to know that?!”

 

“Because I made it! I woke up really, reaaally early for this, and—“

 

“Well in that case you should put more salt next time.” Aomine picked up a piece of meat to emphasise his point, “this tastes bland.”

 

“Couldn’t you be more subtle, Aominecchi?!”

 

“You were the one who wanted to know what I thought!”

 

“If it tastes bland, why are you still eating it??”

 

“I’m hungry! Just shut up, Kise!”

 

Murasakibara watched as the ganguro downed the whole bento in record’s time. He didn’t miss the fact that Aomine had said ‘next time’.

 

“Minechin and Kisechin are definitely dating…” He nonchalantly told Akashi one day, to which the red-haired captain only smiled knowingly.

 

* * *

 

 

Midorima may be book-smart, but when it came to human-related subjects (in other words, emotions and relationships), he could be quite slow to pick those things up. He would find out eventually though… with the guidance of other people.

 

“Shin-chan, is that pretty model ex-teammate of yours in Kaijou dating with that ganguro from Touou?”

 

Midorima turned to his companion with a baffled look.

 

“What do you mean, Takao?”

 

“Wasn’t my question clear enough?” He chuckled. “My hawk eyes are pretty useful for these types of things outside of court, you know~”

 

Midorima never even considered the idea until Takao mentioned it that day. It was as if his eyes had opened for the first time in _years._ Whenever Kise would unnecessarily flood his inbox with text messages, or what Midorima called Kise’s daily life reports, the green-haired man could not help but think back to Takao’s words.

 

“Midorimacchi, I’m sharing an apartment with Aominecchi ヾ(≧∇≦)ﾉ This way it’s cheaper and closer to university!”

 

“Midorimachiiii! It’s Aominecchi’s turn to do the dishes but he won’t do it ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡”

 

“It’s my turn to cook dinner today. Aominecchi is coming back in an hour! What should I make, Midorimacchi? (*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)?”

 

Midorima’s eye twitched. As they entered university, there were less mentions of ‘Kurokocchi’ or ‘Kasamatsu-senpai’; instead more ‘Aominecchi’ popped out. The green-haired man re-read the latest message from the blond, complaining something about Aomine taking one of his favorite coats to wear to university. He then typed out his reply.

 

“Die.”

 

There was _no_ way he could ask Kise whether he and Aomine were dating. He would rather jump off a bridge than explicitly show concern for the blond’s love life. Plus, he’d rather save himself from Kise’s barrage of romantic comments about how much he loved his boyfriend.

 

* * *

 

 

“They’re late,” Akashi commented calmly, but his companions knew those two words came with the promise of punishments for the latecomers. On one table of Maji Burger was red, light blue, purple and green; but no dark blue or yellow was anywhere in sight.

 

“Busy making out, probably,” Murasakibara casually commented with a bite of his salted egg-flavoured umaibo.

 

“That’s a rather vulgar description, Atsushi. However I doubt their relationship has gone that far.”

 

“Last time I heard from Kise-kun, he mentioned he’s sharing an apartment with Aomine-kun.”

 

“Wait, so are those two really dating?”

 

All eyes on the table turned to Midorima. He was having difficulties taking in the new information—that was probably why he was silent during the conversation.

 

“Yes, Shintarou. Ever since middle school.”

 

“You never knew, Midorima-kun?”

 

“You’re really slow with this type of thing, Midochin.”

 

Midorima rubbed his temple as the three each took a jab at his pride. Truth be told, he would have been more shocked if it weren’t for Takao who had planted the mere notion into his head beforehand.

 

“I can’t believe I’m the last to know about this…”

 

“Rest assured, you’re not the last, Midorima-kun.”

 

Midorima’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “But all of you seem to know already!”

 

“Daiki and Ryouta don’t.”

 

“Minechin and Kisechin really make an idiot couple.”

 

Midorima’s mouth was gaping. Did he hear them right?

 

“How could anyone be dating but not know that themselves?”

 

“Who’s dating?” A new voice—Kise’s.

 

“Ryouta. Daiki. You two are late.”

 

Aomine and Kise paled upon hearing that voice. The two of them were getting ready to receive whatever punishment Akashi had in store for the two, but much to the surprise of the two latecomers, the red-haired male answered Kise’s question instead.

 

“We were talking about you two.”

 

“Huh?” Was the intelligent reply from Aomine and Kise.

 

“So when’s the wedding?”

 

“Whose wedding, Kurokocchi?”

 

“You two of course, Kisechin.”

 

“Me and who??”

 

“Daiki. Who else?”

 

“Huh?! What the hell are you three going on about?” Aomine finally recovered from the fact that Akashi wasn’t giving them any punishment.

 

“I thought they were kidding, but you two really don’t know,” Midorima sighed, feeling a migraine coming already.

 

“Don’t know what, Midorima?!”

 

“That you two are dating!”

 

Aomine and Kise looked at the others in disbelief. Aomine was the first to react while Kise was trying to process the whole thing in his head.

 

“Where the hell did all of you get that idea? Hell, are you guys pulling a prank here?”

 

“Didn’t you two move in together?”

 

“Uh, yeah, because it’s cheaper. That doesn’t mean—“

 

“And take turns doing chores? Cook for each other?”

 

“Heck, if I don’t do the chores, Kise’s gonna throw me out in the cold!”

 

“Aomine-kun, that statement makes you two sound like a married couple,” Kuroko deadpanned.

 

“Don’t you occasionally pick up Kise from his model work, Daiki?”

 

“How did you know that, Akashicchi?!”

 

“You two held hands when walking back home after practice in middle school.”

 

“Kisechin even made lunch for Minechin from time to time back then.”

 

“And you two hung out often on the weekends in high school, even when you went to different schools.”

 

As they listed more and more revelations, Aomine and Kise’s eyes grew wider and wider.

 

(And it took all of Midorima’s strength to not show that he was as shocked as the couple).

 

“So… we really have been dating all this time?”

 

“For what, like four, five years?”

 

“Yes,” the other four replied (Midorima included, because damn it, he couldn’t let those two know he was _that_ much of an idiot to not see it for almost five years now).

 

“But- but that’s ridiculous! We haven’t even kissed!”

 

Aomine sighed. “Ah, whatever. The kissing can start today.”

 

“Huh? What are you—“

 

Before Kise could finish his question, Aomine had already pulled the blond by the back of his head and kissed him on the lips.

 

“Wha—“ Kise gasped as soon as they parted. “What do you think are you doing, Aominecchi??!”

 

“What does it matter anyway? We’ve been dating for at least four years!”

 

“What a couple of idiots,” Midorima breathed out.

 

Kuroko and Murasakibara only nodded in agreement.

 

“Now, Daiki. Ryouta. For your punishment because of your tardiness—“

 

“Hah? But I thought there wasn’t any!”

 

“Akashicchi, please forgive us!!”


End file.
